But many here will tell you you are. It's a lousy and unfounded double standard. Get pissed.

-Will
gamingwithbaby.com | all your diapers are belong to us
my flickr
BRING BACK THE IRRELEVANCE!!!!

I agree you should be pissed but if they advertised as a S@HM group you could reason there might be a reason for being so specific. It is BS and it is a double standard and there isn't much you can do about it. If you want to start your own group, it would probably be the best way for you to find what you are looking for. A group molded in your image and with your ideals of what makes for a good group would be less likely to do unto others what these broads did unto you. Talking about sexism always brings out the worst in me, go figure.

Just remember that you are a more evolved man and that while this sort of sexist crap might help those women feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, so would a gasoline enema. These same women might never have wanted to have a career or understand why any woman would, so be glad the narrow minded perspective isn't being spread to your children.

It is said that, "anger is the energy for change," so go ahead and be pissed all you want, just use that energy to make your life better, not your head hurt wondering how people could be so foolish.

Making it look difficult. Living the dream.

But getting pissed, (while is normal and I would be pissed too), will get you nowhere and will definitely not make you welcome in to any other groups, unless you use that energy in a positive way to right the ship both for your yourself and your daughters.

Just for shits and grins, maybe send the controller an email back and say something like,

"Thank you for your reply. While searching for social activities for my three daughters I ran across your SAHM group on MeetUp and thought it would be a good fit. As at-home parents we all share the same jobs and goals of raising healthy and happy children and supporting our spouses on the homefront. Would you please share with me your thoughts about allowing or denying at-home dads and their children into your (or any other) SAHM groups?"

Just sample copy. As an idea. Maybe not, but I wonder if she'd write back saying something like "It's just for mom's only" or "we are lesbian moms" or "we have jealous husbands who wouldn't understand" or "we attend Mars Hill Church" or who know's what, if she'd even reply at all.

But, if you don't ask, you'll never know, so WTF...why not?

OTherwise, JonMcP has some great advice, in my opinion.

I'd be interested to hear what the group says, if they respond at all. Keep it straightforward and polite or just use Brian's copy. You have the right to be disappointed and angry, though. I would be. You could call the media, but you should also think about whether you want the potential publicity for you and your family.

I also think you should start your own group and keep it open to everyone. I've started an AHD group in Pasadena, CA and helped run a group in Chicago and it is a lot of fun. We used this site as a hub for both groups. If you just plan one playgroup a week and a monthly DNO/PNO it is not too much work. The first year may be a little lonely but you'll find some common-minded men and/or women.

Best of luck,
Jim

Thanks for the advice. I have been an at home dad for over five years now. And for that time I have learned to deal with the comments and looks I receive on a daily basis, but this denial was the straw that broke the camels back. I couldn't just let it roll off my back without saying anything. I did email the lady and I will keep you posted on what she says, if she says anything at all. At this point, if she does have a change in heart, I would not join her group because I know I am a better father than she is a mother. That may be a little harsh, but I've finally been hurt by another parent.

Thanks and I'll keep you posted.
Kevin