In my 5+ years at home, I've seen this exact thing a few times and rarely does it have much, if anything, to do with how I am managing the family. Not to generalize too much, but inevitably the rot was work related. One time it was office politics, once it was the moving on of a couple of long-time friends at work and a couple of times it was frustration with commissions. I won't promise you it will be work, but it is probably the most likely place to start.

There is also that "other" issue that no one likes to consider. What if there is someone else? I will admit to having had this fear on more than one occasion when we were going through something similar. There's a new guy at the office and suddenly there's a change in attitude about wardrobe, hair, the cars, the house, you, the kids. Probably it's nothing but her wanting to be thought of as "having it all together." The flip side of this coin is a much happier one but both come from the same place. If she is projecting that "you're not doing enough" attitude, she is probably getting the same thing at work. Chances are she's feeling overlooked there and is bringing her work home with her and dumping it on you. Been there, done that, more than once.

As far as simple, low cost things you can do? The overwhelming runaway favorite of my wife is giving her a mommy appreciation day at home. Ours begins with cleaning the house like you've never cleaned it before. Laundry, dishes, kids' rooms, the whole package. It sounds like a tall order for one day, but if you double up on the laundry ahead of time, you can catch up without giving away the plan.

---Light some candles all around the house for about an hour or two before she comes home. Smell is the sense most tied with memory so having the house clean and smelling nice will help secure this day in her memory for a long time.
---Have the kids make cards for her telling her how much they love her and appreciate her.
---Have a glass of wine ready and run her a bath. Aroma therapy oils or bath salts couldn't hurt either. Nice mellow music to help her relax is a nice touch too. If she likes to read, have her current book there next to the tub along with about a bazillion candles.
---Prepare her favorite meal. Something simple that she likes that tells her you pay attention to what's important to her.
---Chocolate is usually a winner for dessert.
---Most important is that the kids behave. The simplest way to get them to do that is to have them help. Just be sure everyone knows their job ahead of time so there is no fighting over things as they come up.
---If you're good at it, she likes it, and it isn't always foreplay, a massage would be a nice end to the evening.
---And possibly most importantly, NO SEX!!! Bringing sex into the equation makes it seem like this was all designed to get her in the mood and it all becomes conditional, even if it wasn't. If you just pamper her and let her enjoy everything, she feels loved without expectation.

Once she realizes how much she is loved by your actions, she'll realize how much she's been aloof or negative with you. When someone I've been less than nice to is really nice to me, I feel like a total ass almost immediately. It's called the law of contrast for a reason, because it makes the overlooked seem obvious by comparison.

Hope this helps. Best of luck and let us know how it turns out.

Making it look difficult. Living the dream.

I would save you all that bit of frustration.

Also from the "not the right approach dept." nasty notes and snippy emails don't make things better. And it doesn't really matter how right you are either, TRUST ME!!!

Making it look difficult. Living the dream.

Thanks Albyonfloats. Those are some good ideas I will keep in mind when she is in the dumps. As for the sex thing, THAT hasn't happened in over 3 weeks. Actually omahahomedad was more correct. I am the one in the dumps. I guess I am trying to figure out how to deal with it without having to have a huge discussion with her about it. She is a master of pointing out all that she sees herself doing and telling me that I am not really doing that much so stop complaining. Some days I wish I had a full time away from home job. I do like the getting away thing, but I usually have to pay it back later when she wants to do something that interferes with the few things I do schedule.

I guess the ultimate goal is to get happier, because we are living the dream, and I wouldn't trade it (most days.) I don't have a huge network in Utah here, so it is hard to get away during the day, and the nights are crazy busy.

Thanks for your inputs.

When in doubt, call the fire department. Unless there is violence involved.